Stronger Than Yesterday...

Christ, it's only Tuesday? It's gonna be a long one, folks.

I'm doing much better this week. I'd like to apologize for my last entry. I've debated removing it all-together but, it is what it is. The few of you that actually read this know that I'm here and I'm fine, and it's all part of the process I guess. Sometimes I feel like maybe I shouldn't share as much as I do. Even though writing for me is just a way of venting a bit or releasing some stress, I don't know that I can always word things correctly and say what I feel I need to whilst assuring everyone that I'm "alright"...as in not going to do something stupid or whatever. I don't know what I'm trying to say. "How much is too much," perhaps? Or is that what a blog is for in the first place? Would it have the same effect if I wrote it in a diary and I was the only one who ever read it? I guess I won't really know unless I try. We'll see.

Anyway, so this week is better. Things have kind of taken an interesting turn and I feel very good about the direction. Compromise can be really hard to find, let alone actually DO. But I think if you can finally get there it can help things more than you even thought it could. Why is it so difficult for people to just accept some things the way they are? Or to accept people the way that they are? Especially things that we cannot change? Maybe it isn't hard for everyone, but it is for me. I've talked about this before I know, but causing myself stress over things I can't change only hurts ME. And it still won't change the situation. Soooo...it's really time to quit that shit. And I've found that being in a better mindset like I have been the last few days, I've been able to do it a little bit more. So I'm hoping this is a really good sign and that things are going to continue looking up and moving in the right direction.

Why do some people get possessive over other people? Like, no one even has a right to be possessive over someone else. I don't get it. You can be close to someone, but to act as though you have some sort of "hold" on them or "claim" to them is just wrong in my opinion. A lot of times you're just throwing something in other peoples' faces, or making people feel bad. Friendship isn't a competition...at least it shouldn't be. Chances are other people also care about the person you do, but it's not necessary to continuously like...display the fact that you are closer to them than other people. I don't really know exactly what I'm trying to say. Maybe it's just jealousy showing its ugly face. And I'm sure we're all guilty of doing this at some time or another. I doubt that's the intention, but it's definitely how it comes off... and sometimes it's just rubbing it in people's faces.

Not that I didn't already know, but lately I'm constantly reminded of just how amazing the people in my life are. I am so, so blessed with some of the most wonderful people that I can call my friends. That may sound sappy and stupid, but if that bothers you you can piss off, because it has to be said. I truly don't know where I'd be right now without the incredible support, advice, and LOVE that you have all given me, many of you regardless of your own current stressful life situations. You are a reminder that there are still truly good people in the world and the definition of what selflessness and real friendship is. While I absolutely hate (a word I so greatly dislike) that so many of us are going through so much, I am grateful that we are able to support each other in so many different ways and situations. Maybe together we can all find our individual strengths to allow us to get through whatever life has, is, or will throw at us. You are all so important to me. Thank you for being a part of my life, and a part of me.

Thanks, as always, for taking the time to look in on me. Half the time I feel like I'm crazy and that the things I go through are so ridiculous and different from everyone else, and you guys remind me that someone, somewhere understands, I'm never alone, and one day I'll be okay. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. xx