Tired.

Things don't always work out how you plan for them to, or especially how you want them to. It sucks. Yeah, there's nothing you can do to change it, but it still fucking sucks. It doesn't suck quite as bad as the feeling after, though. Disappointment, confusion, in a way, a bit of loss...

I'm just tired of no part of life going how I hope for it to. It's incredibly disheartening and hard and frankly I'm just so tired of being let down. By anything, not just people. But people too. I'm just tired in general. Tired of life and tired of hurting and tired of always having to deal with crap.

I'm even tired of myself. Like I absolutely can't stand the person that I am right now. And all the efforts I am making to try to improve myself and change the things I dislike do absolutely nothing. I know life is hard and things don't come easily and blah blah blah. I'm tired of the fight though. I'm not sure it's worth it anymore. If it actually got me anywhere that'd be one thing, but it doesn't. I'm still stuck in the same place and in quite a few ways it's actually worse...a lot worse.

I'm just tired. Very tired.